GRIEF

A short word that packs a huge punch.....when I least expect it.   Some days it simmers in the background, present but not acknowledged.   Life rocks on in that new normal.  Days and weeks roll by.  Life gets easier.  And then the monstrous wave of sorrow overcomes me.  It might be triggered by a memory, a photograph, a used to be shared activity, or a hat and gloves.

My throat tightens and no matter how hard I try to stop the tears, they fall of their own free will.  It's not  so bad when it happens at home, in the garden, or doing the dishes.  But in public it's embarrassing and frustrating. I have found when one is at the hospital, tears are looked upon as a matter of course.  Tissues are offered and you are allowed the cry.  Any place else, people scatter as if you are carrying a dreaded disease. 

It seems that grieving is no longer appropriate in our culture.  Used to be one wore mourning attire for a designated period of time.  It let others know life had taken a wicked turn and a person needed time and space to reestablish their equilibrium.  It was a message that said not to expect the person to take part in social activities.  It allowed a person the time to find their way in the new land in which they found themselves.  It reminded friends and family to check on the well being of that person(s).  These days one is expected to put forth a happy face and a nothing bothers me attitude.  It doesn't work that way.....never has.

I reckon the gist of this post is a gentle reminder that people Grieve with a capital G.  For a long time.  When they least expect to do so.  Check on family and friends who have lost someone near and dear to them.  Find out if they are eating well.  Ask if they are sleeping.  Exercise (forgive this awful concept) helps too; so maybe offer to take a quiet with them.  Offer a hug and a listening ear.  Words are not necessary.  Just knowing someone cares makes all the difference.  And above, allow them time and space.